It sucks.

When i was a kid, i didn't really need to restrict myself in expressing what i feel.

But as an adult, you've gotta socialize. You've got to maintain good relationships and expand your social network. Moreover, humans tend to be less forgiving when they reach the period of maturity.

I hate to put on a mask when i really dislike this person for who he/she is, how rotten his/her character is, and how even looking at that person irritates me to the max. But on the surface, i've gotta smile and maybe give a monotonous response so that our relationship will not be strained.

How superficial I've become.

Have I conformed to the expectations of society, or did i just mutate my character solely to fit the environment?

I want to remain as a kid. I don't want to grow up. I want stay in my childhood fantasies. I want to believe that there truly are fairytale endings, that there really is a godmother with a wand who saves you out of your misery.

But going forward is what i can only do now.

Fucking hate people who act blur and dun reply you in times when you need them.

Fucking hate people who just start giving some lame excuses so as to avoid the inconvenience from helping you, even though it might be just a small favour.

Fucking hate those inconsiderate and self-centred people. Are they even considered as friends?

Fuckers exist.

GG.

ZZ.

OH NO OH NO OH NO~

no time to make edmund's card!! SAVE ME PLS!!! OMG.

Tmr needa chiong marketing, econs, mgt sci tutorial and edmund's card.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS.

one fucking whole saturday night chionging the bloody marketing. damn crap.

And i feel so sian-ed when most of my other team mates just mug their books while i gotta keep doing this crap. ZZZ.

Unfairness, but what to do rofl.

"if you've decided to do something, then do it well, or don't do it at all."

Love this quote from MM Lee :)

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUSSSSS!

french kills. nuff said.

feel like smacking myself for being so assholic.

thanks.

byez.

Its been a long time since I blogged, and I suddenly had this impulse to write something in this abandoned journal of mine.

I think everyone was thoroughly scammed during JC days that university would seem heavenly compared to JC education. In other words, it was the complete opposite of what our teachers had told us. lolz.

After i entered university, I guess I started pondering about what to do in life. The areas which I could improve on would be my confidence and the way I handle things. I doubt my leadership skills too. I begin doubting if I could even catch up to my peers, since academics is relatively impt, but not that impt in the working world after all. In the working world, its your leadership skills that shine the most.

No one cares about how ethical you are since the management is more concerned about your potential productivity level and skills rather than your values, since ethics aren't profitable. Its some sort of 'welcome to reality' kind of thing. A wake up call.

I need to prove myself wrong, that I could do something right. That I could organize an event and execute it smoothly without me in a flustered state. I've gotta improve my leadership skills (if there are any in the first place).

I just hope I'm given the chance.

NUS camp over.

Looking forward to rag camp :D