It sucks.

When i was a kid, i didn't really need to restrict myself in expressing what i feel.

But as an adult, you've gotta socialize. You've got to maintain good relationships and expand your social network. Moreover, humans tend to be less forgiving when they reach the period of maturity.

I hate to put on a mask when i really dislike this person for who he/she is, how rotten his/her character is, and how even looking at that person irritates me to the max. But on the surface, i've gotta smile and maybe give a monotonous response so that our relationship will not be strained.

How superficial I've become.

Have I conformed to the expectations of society, or did i just mutate my character solely to fit the environment?

I want to remain as a kid. I don't want to grow up. I want stay in my childhood fantasies. I want to believe that there truly are fairytale endings, that there really is a godmother with a wand who saves you out of your misery.

But going forward is what i can only do now.